This week has so far been a really hectic and trying week for me especially with all the decisions I have to make regarding my future. My dad has been constantly chastising me and really berating me about my priorities and how I’ve been handling my life and commitments. Honestly, I’m in a quandary right now, unsure as to what road I should take and why I’m even doing what I do.
There are so many things that I want to do yet there’s only 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If only I could be in two places at the same time, then maybe, just maybe, I can do everything I want and balance all these activities of mine, but I can’t. If only I could control time,
These last few days, I’ve come to realize that I am human. I will make mistakes, I will forget, I will fail, and I am only one. I don’t have a perfect memory, neither do I have a perfect personality.
Even with all my flaws and weaknesses, I’m alive and life goes on. This is what makes life so beautiful, waking up each day to a day full of adventure and challenges. I can’t control the number of hours in a day but what I can control is how I use these hours. Like what my father and SAT tutor has been saying, it’s about setting your priorities and then going from there.
I’m feeling quite depressed because my father chose to intervene and not allow me to go to a weekend retreat since it conflicted with my SAT review and basketball game. I REALLY REALLY wanted to go to the retreat but maybe it’s just not my time. My schedule is really packed right now and it’s hard balancing all this with just one me. Physically, I still may be fresh since I just got back from vacation, but emotionally, I’m really hurting and confused.
It’s really sad how SAT and basketball has become the reason as to why I’ve been arguing with my dad the past few days. It’s really hard especially when your own father questions your every move and doubts you. It’s even harder when he starts taking away the things that keep you going and destroys the “fun” aspect in my life. I’m not even sure anymore if this is what I want for I’m obviously not happy right now. It’s really hard to enjoy life and the process when someone is constantly carping about almost every single action you take, questioning your priorities, desire, drive and dictating almost everything.
I’m truly a firm believer that it has to come from within and what my father is doing right now is obviously not helping. He’s gotten what he wants, I’ve dropped the retreat that I was really looking forward to since the day I heard that it was being planned. Hopefully, he know realizes that maybe he should cut me some slack and let me just enjoy the process and ride.
The only thing keeping me going right now is my strong belief in the fact that everything happens for a reason. Right now, I’m just thinking that this is just another chapter in my life and that the ending of the book is still far! I know that all this sacrifice, hard work and dedication will pay off in the end! Time will fly by and hopefully, a year from now, I can say that damn son, I don’t regret going through all that for it was all worth it!
Tomorrow’s another day, a new start, a chance to leave everything behind me and just enjoy the climb!
To end this blog post, I’d like to share with you guys, one song that I always listen to during times like this, “The Climb,” by Miley Cyrus. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs